


Unexpected

by Naeshira



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Fake AH Crew, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 18:10:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9670223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naeshira/pseuds/Naeshira
Summary: Brownman and Dollface have a job to do.





	

She’s on a run downtown, her bright red hair tied up in a ponytail and her headphones in. It’s rare she’s ever in Los Santos, but she’s on a break. Her last job left her a little busted up, and Gavin had insisted she take a month to heal. 

She’s waiting to cross a street when she sees him. Green hoodie. Smoking a cigarette against the wall of the opposite building. They make eye contact, and the man nods towards the dim street behind him. He pushes off the wall and walks down it, expecting her to follow. 

The light changes, and she does. 

The street is empty, the tall buildings casting shadow that makes her shiver in spite of herself. She pulls out her earbuds and jogs to a stop in front of him. 

“Ray.” She says. 

“Meg.” He answers. 

They had never really been friends, but they had known each other. Once. He has more facial hair now. Her hair had been purple then. 

“What’s up?” 

“Trouble.” 

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” Ray pulls out a USB from his pocket. He hands it to her, along with a little slip of paper. “That’s my number. Text me when you’ve read the files. We need to meet up.” 

Meg tucks the USB into her sports bra. “What’s this about, Ray?” 

Ray shakes his head. “Not here. Text me later. We’ll talk then.” 

Due to the nature of her job, it’s not the most cryptic method she’s received information before. She trusts him. At least a little bit. “’Kay. See you then.” 

“See ya.” Ray gives her a little wave before wandering off in the opposite direction. 

Meg continues her run. She’s got another three miles to go. 

…

A day later, Ray sits at a table in a busy café. It’s a Saturday and the place is packed with families and couples and single people milling about. 

Meg enters, gets her iced latte, and sits across from him. He’s still in his green hoodie. She’s now wearing a tight dress and large fashion sunglasses. She pulls the USB from her purse and pushes it across the little table. “You’re sure this is legit?” 

Ray nods. “I got it from Kdin.”

“And the Fakes don’t know?” 

“I don’t think so.” 

“Hmm.” Meg takes a moment to sip her coffee. Ray picks up the USB and slips it back into his pocket.

“Well?” 

“We’re in a unique position here.” Meg says. “Two unaffiliated mercenaries. Could cause some talk.” 

“I’m technically dead.” Ray relaxes into his seat. “If no one finds out that it’s me, I’m fine.” 

“I suppose I’ll leave my toys at home for this one. Stay anonymous.” Meg nods. “We have to do this, don’t we?”

“Who else is gonna? The Fakes could have the info but they can’t do subtle for shit.” Ray shook his head. “If it’s been this long already, we may be almost out of time.” 

Meg sips her coffee again, a million plans already going through her head. “We’ll need plane tickets. Alibis.” 

“Easy.”

The two of them pull out their phones. Within minutes, two plane tickets are bought for that night. Half an hour later, the coffee is gone and two different alibis are established. They both have multiple passports and ID cards at home, it’s too easy to pick one that fits. 

“See you tomorrow then?”

“See you tomorrow.” 

…

A day later, they are halfway across the country. Some Midwestern city, hustling and bustling, windy in a way that Los Santos is not. Here they are two strangers who just happen to check into the same hotel. They pretend to flirt and retreat to the same room under the guise of anonymous sex. Once there, they close the curtains, block the security cameras, and get to work. 

Ray’s hacking ability has grown, and he’s sitting cross-legged on the bed with his laptop out. Security camera footage is taking up his screen. Meg is in the room’s puffy armchair, her own laptop out and her phone perched on the bedside table. Their weapons are spread out on the desk on the opposite wall, disassembled. All black, no pink or gold or jewels in sight. For the sake of their own jobs, they can’t afford to be recognized. 

“So we know the building is in the south side of town. Industrial district.” Meg says, tapping at her keyboard. She has different maps of the city pulled up, scrolling through them. “Who’s our suspect?” 

“I know a guy around here. He says that area belongs to the Rats.” Ray answers. 

“Ugh. Who names a crew after rodents?” Meg makes a face. 

“Who names a crew Fake?” 

“Touché.” 

“What? I don’t speak Italian.” 

Meg laughs, possibly for the first time since they’d arrived here. “Shut up, Ray.” 

They order takeout and spend the night pouring over the maps and reviewing all their information from the USB. Ray had checked back in with Kdin. Meg had contacted a couple of trusted sources. By the time the food is cold, they have a plan sketched out. 

…

A day later, and Ray is perched on a roof in the south side of town. It’s a crack den, and no one noticed him climbing the fire escape, so he considers himself relatively safe up here. Any cops would be preoccupied with the drugs downstairs first. He’d have time to escape. 

His sniper scope is trained on a warehouse, its crumbling gray walls and broken windows looking abandoned. Broken windows give great sight-lines, and he can count at least fifteen men inside. They all have guns. 

“This is definitely the place.” He says. 

Meg’s voice crackles in his earpiece. “You’re sure?” She’s three blocks away. She’s holding a camera that’s as big as her head, and is taking pictures of random objects. This photographer disguise has helped her out more than once.

“No. Just a building full of beefy dudes with guns and the Rats logo painted on the outside. You’re right, I think I’m in the wrong place.”

“Ray – ”

“Just get over here. Watch out for the shit in the street. I think I stepped in some.” 

…

An hour later, and the sky has gone dark. Meg is making her way through the alley and around to the front of the Rats warehouse, gun in hand and a simple black bandana across her face. Her clothes are dark and tight. She’s foregone the usual pizzazz with which she commits crime, and she kind of misses it. “I’m at the door. You ready?” 

Ray is stationed near the loading docks in the back, hiding just behind a dumpster. He too is wearing a bandana across his face, and his clothes are black and shapeless. “Yeah. Call it.” 

“Let’s go. Three, two…” Meg shoots the lock off the door and kicks her way through. The front room used to be a lobby of some sorts. It’s not empty, and Meg shoots the two men inside immediately. Not quickly enough to stop them from shouting. 

The alarm is raised, and Meg takes cover behind the desk, ready to shoot anyone who comes in through the door. 

Meanwhile, Ray makes his way to the open entry in the loading dock. It’s large and takes him a running jump to get in. Without Meg’s distraction, he’d have been shot before making it across the paved lot. As it is, the guards have all turned towards the front, and Ray takes them out with quick headshots. 

Between the two of them, the gunfight is over quickly. Eight men lay dead in the warehouse, and they meet in the middle, crouched behind a pallet piled high with old crates. 

“You see a way downstairs? That’s where they have to be. There’s no second floor to this place.” Ray whispers. They’re not done yet. 

“Yeah. Near the lobby there’s another door. I think it must be a staircase.” Meg points. A grey door is set into the wall. 

“They’ll be waiting for us.” 

“Good.” 

…

Five minutes later, they burst down the stairs, guns blazing. As stealthy as they’ve been trained to be, through the course of their jobs and their very lives, this is what they both do best. Sometimes jobs require a loud, murderous charge.

There are four men at the bottom of the stairs. They make the mistake of not firing on the door as soon as it opens. 

Further inside, the heart of the organization is actually prepared. The hired help has been eliminated now, bodies strewn across the warehouse. Here the Rats have their main crew, and they are more than capable of protecting themselves. 

But they clearly aren’t expecting two slight figures in matching bandanas to be the ones destroying their protection. 

The Brownman takes position by the entry, crouched in cover. His aim does not miss. 

Dollface charges in with a loud yell, controlling the fight with close-range shots of her pistol and sharp kicks to the groin. 

The battle is not without its pain. Ray takes a hit to the arm, the bullet searing through his sweater but passing through his arm. It’s a graze but it takes out his aim a little. Meg pistol-whips the man who shot him, stomping on his face once he’s on the ground. 

Meg herself takes a hit when the Rats leader gets his wits back enough to realize that he’s much bigger than her. He grabs her around the waste and slams her against a pillar, knocking her head back and jarring her vision. As the man raises his fist to punch her out, Ray takes his shot. He crumples to the ground, bullet lodged in the back of his skull. 

After that, the room is silent. 

“I think… I think that was all of them.” 

“Thanks.” 

“You too.”

…

A minute later, and the two of them find what they’re looking for. He’s chained to a chair, tied up so tight he’s immobile. There’s dried blood in his hair and his clothes are torn. He looks up at them with dazed blue eyes. He tries to say something, but it comes out as a muffled grunt through the gag. 

“Hold on, Rye, we’ve got you.” Meg says, and moves forward to release him. 

…

Two days later, and the three of them are back in Los Santos. The café is calm and they sit together at a table outside, enjoying the sunlight and the breeze off the sea. Meg is back in her fashion sunglasses, and Ray is back in his green hoodie. Ryan is, of course, in his dad jeans. 

“I got injured on the job,” Ryan says, pointing to the wound on his hairline. “They caught me while I was trying to fix myself up. I didn’t realize they had a big crew in that part of town.” 

“We must have caught them before they were ready.” Meg supplies. “There should have been more people at that warehouse.” 

“I think they were waiting to post a ransom to the Fakes.” Ray says. 

“Amassing forces to fight off the likes of Michael and his minigun.” Ryan nods. “They weren’t expecting two assassins to show up out of the blue like that.” 

Ray and Meg high-five across the table. 

“We got your back Rye.” 

“R-and-R connection, dude.”


End file.
